Rage Turned Inward

[SweetLuchia]

This is how Lorraine Brocco's character on [/i]The Sopranos[/i] Dr. Melfi describes depression.

I think it's an extremely accurate description.

I was going to post this under the Sopranos thread but I ultimately decided to post it here in the Vistors Forum b/c even though depression is much more common among Stand Up Comics, many, many other people from all walks of life suffer from it too.

For myself, my depression manifests itself as an outward rage rather than an inward one.

For years I didn't even [/i]know I was [/i] depressed b/c I thought only people who didn't want to get out of bed in the morning were depressed.

I didn't realize that becoming easily aggitated, losing patience or getting angry more often than usual were ALSO indicators of this awful state.

When I feel myself starting to slip into a depression, I try to focus on other things. I might go to a movie, call a friend take a walk etc.

But when things get so bad that the rage [/i]DOES TURN INWARD[/i] and I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning, I reach for my secret weapon-the ONLY remedy that works-Richard Franklin Lennox Thomas Pryor):)
[Font size=5 face=s color=purple]My HERO!!![/font]
He's been my Saving Grace on more than one occasion and I hope he becomes yours too
Bottom line-depression is NOTHING to play with, ignore or be ashamed of. If you need help-GET IT!

[Jennifer]

SweetLuchia,
Nice post!

[SweetLuchia]

Jennifer,

Thank You! I'm glad you enjoyed reading this post.

With all the struggles Mr. Pryor had (and at times still has) with depression, I felt a thread devoted to it's discussion was appropriate.

In addition to the many comics who struggle with it, I'm sure many non-comic members do as well. If so, I really, really encourage you all to talk about it. If you'd rather remain anonomous you CAN BE here in "The Vistor Forum" as long as you don't sign in.

No one has to know WHO you are. And I can assure you that none of us who do openly talk about it would ever push you to reveal yourself so if you're really feeling down please, PLEASE talk about your depression.

The more depression is discussed the less mysterious it becomes and the LESS POWER it has!

[JTF]

SweetLuchia,

Depression is fairly common. I have even had some trouble with it. Not to the point where I was on a couch somewhere paying some asshole to listen to me, then tell me "See you next week," but enouth where I get really don (I am my toughest critic)

Thanks for this post, you beautiful broad you!

[SweetLuchia]

JTF,

Oh my! You and your flattery-you are just too [/i]smooth[/i]

Thank you for sharing your experience with depression-it is really more common than most want to admit and it can have a devasting-even deadly effect on a person's life if left untreated

The more we discuss, the less power it has

[Vee]

JTF,

Good thread Sweet L....

You are right, depression is very common and many of us don't realize how serious this is. I go to therapy once a week and I love it. It has helped me so much with everything. I recommend it to you all...comedian or not. Therapy is the way to go!!!!!!!!!

Vee

[SweetLuchia]

Vee,

HEY GIRL!!! I haven't seen ya in awhile! I know you've been hanging out in the poetry forum. I don't hang there cuz I'm WAY TOOOOOO emotional right now-too many changes goin on in my life-ya know what I mean?

The littlest things make me cry and I KNOW there are some VERY DEEP things being shared down there in [/i]Jagged Edge Poetry [/i] I can tell just from the titles of the poems

So PLEASE don't feel as if I don't appreciate your poetry Vee-I just can't bring myself to read anything that DEEP right now

I still want to say THANK YOU so MUCH for sharing how you deal with depression. It takes courage to talk about something that is still kept "hush-hush" by so many people. Thank You

[Visitor]

Mama T,

I am so so happy that you never had to struggle with depression yourself.

I'm also relieved that you recognize the difference between the normal emotion of sadness and the awful state of depression.

This is absolutely crucial for your son's recovery. My parents divorced when I was only 18 months old and for 8 years I went back and forth between them.

As soon as I would get adjusted to one neighborhood, one school, one set of friends etc. they'd fight and I'd have to move again

The constant bickering and moving all the time was just too much for my little girl brain to grasp. I turned inward in a huge way-I ate and ate and ate And doing so at such an early age set up a vicious cycle of emotional eating that I STILL struggle with to this day

Maybe if one of my parents would've taken the time to try and figure out what was wrong with me instead of just telling me to "Snap out of it!" maybe this vicious cycle and constant battle with depression would not have continued into my adulthood-or at least not to the extent that it has.

So I applaud you Mama T for having the courage to FACE what's going on with your son, instead of running from it or pretending that it doesn't exist

Many parents just don't want to admit that there's anything wrong with [/i]their [/i] child Instead they take there child's illness personally

[SweetLuchia]

Mama T,

Just in case you couldn't tell, that last post as "Vistor" WAS me. I dunno why it didn't post as me, i always check to make sure i'm logged in before I post.

Maybe it was just a glitch or something.

[SweetLuchia]

Mama T,

That's very sad that your Mom didn't notice your absence:(

My mother was very neglectful as well so unfortunately I [/i]know [/i] how it feels

You've obviously taken this negative and turned it into a positive by being a much more attentive Mom to your children and for that you should be proud

It would've been much [/i]easier [/i] for you to follow in your mom's footsteps and just say "Well this is how my mom handled me so I'm doing the same with my kids"

It takes a sincere effort, courage and genuine love for those around you to GROW and become a better person