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I know there are people out there that have specific fantasies or at least fantasies with the same theme. You know." I get seduced by so and so and she talks this way and she gives me that look in her eyes and she's a little breathless as she shifts her eyes between my groin and my eyes." My gal thinks along the lines of guys in uniform. Firemen,Cops,constrution workers.etc. so I figure I'll spice things up. One night I come home dressed as a Safeway guy who bags your groceries.I rang the doorbell with a little horny,confident smile on my face, paper hat on. She answered the door looking relaxed and sexy and I went "Will that be paper or plastic mam?". I even did that goofy over-bite,with a little spit in the corner of my mouth as a turn on and guess what? She wasn't turned on! Got an annoyed look on her face, turned around and walked away shaking her head slowly. Man chicks are fickle....

walrusjk,
uh...lol---i would hit ya over the head!!

Jennifer,

That's exactly the reaction I was hoping for! You know foreplay!

At some point I figured out that the bag boy uniform wasn't a good choice. It took a few comments from my gal to confirm it. I think she said something sarcasticaly, when I was doing the dishes, like..." Now be sure you don't put anything heavy on top of the glasses..Bag boy." Dawned on me then...Wrong choice on the uniform. So I said to myself "Basketball player!" They wear uniforms. I know she likes Shaq so the next day I ring the door bell with an oversized jersey and shorts, size 22 sneakears on and a fake tatoo that said Superman. My body was all covered up so I improvised and did the tatoo on my cheeks. Problem was there wasn't enough room so one side had "SUP" and the other had "PERMAN" Didn't work either. It took 10 minutes of a concentrated confused look for her to figure it out. After 5 minutes she said "Supper man? I ain't cooking for you! Change and take me out for something to eat maybee and what's with the head?"I never should have shaved it. I think the extra "P" blew the subtle seduction. I give up with fulfilling her fantasies....

walrusjk,
that's was funny!

Jennifer,

Thanks Jennifer for responding. I thought these were pretty solid comedy bits. No one else noticed! You're just being nice but thanks....

walrusjk,
Your azz is way too funny! I read this thread and almost pissed my self!

tis2flyyy, Sometimes I fantasize I'm using someone elses hand during sex.

Murphdogg,

I guess dem ol' "Shawshank Prison habits" can be kinda hard to break once you get on the outside eh? :lol::lol:

Peace gee

Murphdogg,

I DID piss my pants on that one!
Crazy man!