SMART LADIES vs. REAL WOMEN: Which are you?
Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 6:11 pm
Smart Lady: If a lady accidentally over-salts a dish while it's still cooking, she drops in a peeled potato and it absorbs the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up".
Real Woman: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
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Smart Lady: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Woman: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
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Smart Lady: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Woman: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
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Smart Lady: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Woman: Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
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Smart Lady: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Woman: Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate it for you.
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Smart Lady: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Woman: Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
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Smart Lady: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Woman: Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
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And finally the most important tip ...
Smart Lady: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Woman: Leftover wine??
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Remember — A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn! ... that was fun!"
![]:o)](./images/smilies/lildevil.gif "Devil")
Real Woman: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
**********
Smart Lady: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Woman: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
**********
Smart Lady: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Woman: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
**********
Smart Lady: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Woman: Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
**********
Smart Lady: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Real Woman: Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate it for you.
**********
Smart Lady: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Woman: Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
***********
Smart Lady: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Woman: Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
***********
And finally the most important tip ...
Smart Lady: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Woman: Leftover wine??
**********
Remember — A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn! ... that was fun!"
