A New Holiday Tradition...
Posted: Sun Nov 21, 2004 7:43 am
The Traditional Thanksgiving Pardon at the White House Gone Wrong...
President Bush: "All right Biscuits. You're gonna tell me where Osama is or it's no pardon for you this year. Screw tradition! You'll find yourself ass-up on my plate this Thanksgiving you dumb bird, that's for sure. In fact I'm so hungry I think I'll just start in on ya right now..."
Biscuits the Turkey: "No! Wait! I gots no idea where Mr. Osama is Mr. President. Nones at all! Thats the truths... I swears."
President Bush: "Well you're intel on Saddam was right on the money. Out of the spider-hole and into a jail cell."
Biscuits the Turkey: "Whats are you talking about?"
President Bush: "I get the gizzard! I called it first. I'm the President of the free world and I get what I want gosh dung it! No gizzards for you!"
Biscuits the Turkey: "Gizzards?"
President Bush: "Well Biscuits, what's it gonna be? Just give me what I want and we're square. The sooner you comply the sooner we can get back to tradition here."
Biscuits the Turkey: "I gots no informations to give 'CLUCK!' you Mr. President, really... I don't."
President Bush: "Did you just say to me what I think you said Biscuits?" Fuck you? FUCK YOU!"
Biscuits the Turkey: "No! No! I didn't! Its was an uncontrollable 'cluck', which is whats I do naturally that's alls! I'm just a turkey, I don't haves anything to do withs the intelligence community."
President Bush: "All right, it looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way. You've heard of 'choking the chicken', haven't ya Biscuits?"
Biscuits the Turkey: "Ummm, well, I don't thinks so...."
President Bush: "Well, how about this!"
President Bush: "Remember now!"
Biscuits the Turkey: "Ahhh! Heeelp! 'Gack' uhhh 'Hack'! Nooo Mr... Presidenthuh."
President Bush: "That was great! Quick, get Cheney or somebody to clean this sticky mess up. Geeze, I'm starving. Lets get this bird in the oven."
Inkblot
President Bush: "All right Biscuits. You're gonna tell me where Osama is or it's no pardon for you this year. Screw tradition! You'll find yourself ass-up on my plate this Thanksgiving you dumb bird, that's for sure. In fact I'm so hungry I think I'll just start in on ya right now..."
Biscuits the Turkey: "No! Wait! I gots no idea where Mr. Osama is Mr. President. Nones at all! Thats the truths... I swears."
President Bush: "Well you're intel on Saddam was right on the money. Out of the spider-hole and into a jail cell."
Biscuits the Turkey: "Whats are you talking about?"
President Bush: "I get the gizzard! I called it first. I'm the President of the free world and I get what I want gosh dung it! No gizzards for you!"
Biscuits the Turkey: "Gizzards?"
President Bush: "Well Biscuits, what's it gonna be? Just give me what I want and we're square. The sooner you comply the sooner we can get back to tradition here."
Biscuits the Turkey: "I gots no informations to give 'CLUCK!' you Mr. President, really... I don't."
President Bush: "Did you just say to me what I think you said Biscuits?" Fuck you? FUCK YOU!"
Biscuits the Turkey: "No! No! I didn't! Its was an uncontrollable 'cluck', which is whats I do naturally that's alls! I'm just a turkey, I don't haves anything to do withs the intelligence community."
President Bush: "All right, it looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way. You've heard of 'choking the chicken', haven't ya Biscuits?"
Biscuits the Turkey: "Ummm, well, I don't thinks so...."
President Bush: "Well, how about this!"
President Bush: "Remember now!"
Biscuits the Turkey: "Ahhh! Heeelp! 'Gack' uhhh 'Hack'! Nooo Mr... Presidenthuh."
President Bush: "That was great! Quick, get Cheney or somebody to clean this sticky mess up. Geeze, I'm starving. Lets get this bird in the oven."
Inkblot