Only in Japan

[Rage_Abraxas]

Every now and then I find something that can only be true in Japan. This is a rough translation from a story that was written by a friend of mine.

The bursting of Japan’s bubble economy has given rise to ever increasing numbers of homeless men. Nagoya happens to be no exception. While no official numbers are kept, large groups of men often camp out in public parks, sleeping under makeshift tents made of plastic tarps.

For most, being down on their luck for so long, sex, if and when it does, probably comes in the form of little more than a distant memory. Couple that with the fact that bathing is not something done on a regular basis and for some it can be weeks or even months apart, the prospect of procuring female companionship is likely to be all the more remote.

Certainly the last thing a homeless man would ever expect would be to be awakened from a sound sleep by an attractive young female who has slipped into his shelter, opened his fly, and begun to provide relief in the form of masturbation, or fellatio.

Yet, increasing numbers of homeless men in Nagoya's parks swear this has happened to them. Did these pleasurable experiences actually occur? Or was it merely something initiated from the fog of alcohol-induced stupor?

Underground magazine Uramono Japan (October) swears the story is true. Could it be that some women are so turned on by male pheromones, they won't accept anything less than a full concentration, unadulterated by soap and water? Or maybe it could be attributed to a fetishist for dirt, grime and odor.

Whatever the case may be, those on the receiving end of her ministrations aren't complaining.

"Her hand technique is fantastic, but her fellatio is exceptional," one man was quoted as saying. "She sneaked in and did it to me one night, I swear!"

Intrigued by this somewhat incredible story, Kyoto-based freelance writer Ikkyu Muromachi (name has been changed to protect the guilty) decided to take a drive down the Meishin Expressway from Kyoto to Nagoya. Muromachi prepared for this by refusing to bathe for a week. Getting good and funky in an attempt to pass for a homeless man (as opposed to a cheap bastard trying to score a free blow job?).

Making the rounds in the parks, Muromachi asked several fellow bums and winos about this woman.

One began to express doubts that she was from Nagoya. "She began slipping into the parks at night about a year ago.” He was quoted. He said that he believed her to be about 32 or 33. “Not bad looking either..."

But when asked if she bestowed her gifts to him the man replied emphatically "Hell no! Those kind of promiscuous bitches ain't my type!"

Muromachi kept the ruse up for a week, sleeping in various parks around the city. Then one night his patience was rewarded.

"Turning over in my sleep, I thought I heard approaching footsteps," he said. "Then I saw the human figure in the faint light. The footsteps sounded like a woman's. I got the feeling she was coming for me."

Muromachi felt a brief panic, wondering if the person might be armed with a knife intending to do him harm. But then he felt a gentle hand on his inner thigh.

"At first I couldn't believe it, Could this be real?" But he smelled her floral perfume, and immediately stiffened.
Slim fingers crept up to his waistband, groped over the button, released it and tugged down his trousers. Muromachi lifted his waist to help slip them off, at which time his own rank body odor wafted toward his nose.

Kneeling over him, the woman proceeded to run her tongue along the underside of his penis, and then took him full into her mouth.

After completing the task at hand, she then vanished into the darkness. From what little he saw of the woman, Muromachi says the she had sloping eyes with long lashes, somewhat resembling actress Yoshiko Sakaguchi and wore black jeans.

"There were so many things I wanted to ask her," Muromachi said. "But she never spoke."

Back home in Kyoto, Muromachi tells Uramono Japan every time he gets a rise every time he reminisces over his experience. Apparently, he feels that not bathing for two weeks and sleeping in a public park was worth the experience. He's planning a return to Nagoya in hopes of repeating the experience.

[Jermane S]

Rage_Abraxas,

That is some nasty ass shit, Uggghhh........ bitch needs some help!

[billyb0y]

Rage_Abraxas,
That the worst http://www.jal.co.jp/en/flight_planning ... ule_d.html - Story' I have ever heard!!!! :p

[Jermane S]

billyb0y,

Here's your chance! I knew that 20 spot would help you!!

[billyb0y]

Jermane S,
Now that's what I call "Public Service"

[Jermane S]

billyb0y,

This post brought to you by "Listerene", as effective as flossing in fighting plaque buildup.

[Funn DementaLL]

yea... not feeling that, maybe she has aids or some shit...

[AfroJewbu]

Rage_Abraxas,

Funky, funky, funky to the bone!
Light-on, light-on, light-on!

[bumperhead]

billyb0y,
Funniest reply ever. God I laughed aloud.

[JTF]

bumperhead,

True. Good job Bill!

I kept expecting the story to take a nasty turn (like the perfumed performer having a penis)