QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

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Jennifer
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QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by Jennifer » Wed Sep 19, 2007 11:54 am

q u o t e s . O f . T h e . D a y

"How about this Chinese lead paint on toys? The have
Finally agreed to ban the use of lead paint on toys.
However, they will continue to use it on sweet and
Sour chicken."
- David Letterman

"Bill Clinton is promoting his new book. In an interview,
Former President Bill Clinton says although most people
Don't know it, Hillary has the best laugh. Bill added, 'I
Get to hear it every time she pushes me down the stairs'."
- Conan O'Brien

"Not a great day for the rock star Sting. He was
Photographed leaving a brothel in Germany. He's on tour.
He may have to change the name of his song: 'Every Little
Thing She Does Costs Money'."
- Craig Ferguson

"They say that O.J. Was involved in a robbery at a Las
Vegas casino. There are a lot of different versions of
What happened. Luckily, Patriots coach Bill Belichick
Was there and videotaped the whole thing."
- Jay Leno

"He continues to maintain his innocence. O.J. Says there's
No way he committed the crime — because it's not 'murdery'
Enough."
- Conan O'Brien

"Al Gore won an Emmy! That means his wife gets to go home
With two heavy statues."
- Craig Ferguson
EddieHill
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Re: QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by EddieHill » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:08 pm

Jennifer,That is dead on, I hope everthing is going well with you. Have lots of fun you deserve it.
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Jennifer
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Re: QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by Jennifer » Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:05 pm

EddieHill,

"One of the men who was allegedly robbed by O.J. Simpson
Is now saying he won't press charges. In exchange O.J. Has
Promised not to double murder the man."
- Conan O'Brien

"Not a great day for the American justice system. The jury
Is back in the Phil Spector trial. I'm not kidding — it's
A hung jury. We have a picture of the five people on the
Jury who think he's not guilty. There's Darth Vader,
Michael Jackson, O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, and Satan."
- Craig Ferguson

"Al Gore won an Emmy. He's won so much: He's won an Oscar
This year, for his role as Chewbacca in the "Star Wars"
Movie..."
- Jimmy Kimmel
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Jennifer
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Re: QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by Jennifer » Thu Sep 20, 2007 5:06 pm

EddieHill,
Fun...are we having it yet?
Yeah...could most def use some!!
bcddjjsc690
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Re: QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by bcddjjsc690 » Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:58 pm

Jennifer,
great yuks , But I would have casted Gore as Jabba the Hutt,

The President of Iran , Amajada whatever , wants to visit Ground Zero ,
The NYPD said No-Fuckin-Way !!
What they should have said is " Sure..." Dressed him in Red Sox Gear and dropped him off in the Bronx.
"you must be out-cho god-dammed mind "
EddieHill
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Re: QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by EddieHill » Thu Sep 20, 2007 10:41 pm

Jennifer, Me too, They should lock all those crazy bastards up and make them live together and by no means let them reproduce. Sometimes you just got to say fuck it and leave the news off for a couple of weeks. The crazy shit will still be there when ya turn the tv back on.
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Re: QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by Murphdogg » Fri Sep 21, 2007 10:05 am

Jennifer, LMFAO@
One of the men who was allegedly robbed by O.J. Simpson
Is now saying he won't press charges. In exchange O.J. Has
Promised not to double murder the man."
- Conan O'Brien
b.b
Shane God Damned Murphy

shanescomedy.com
walrusjk
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Re: QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by walrusjk » Fri Sep 21, 2007 5:16 pm

Jennifer,
I hope you're not quoting these from memory. I would hate to think that you were pulling a Howard Hughes thing. Laying in bed in a dark room lit only by the TV, watching monolagues and writting on a scratch pad like mad with an ocassional laugh out loud.
But seriously. Did Richard ever write or think about these kind of jokes during his career? Johnny Carson did long after he retired and would send them to Letterman. Dave's first show's entire monolague after Johnny passed away were jokes like these that Carson had sent to him...
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Re: QUOTES OF THE DAY!!!!!

Post by mojones » Sat Sep 22, 2007 11:36 am

Jennifer,

Conan O'Brien, man....one of the funniest hosts on television. No disrespect to Seacrest either, but O'Brien's Emmy hosting duties set the standard. Leno, Letterman, Colbert and Stewart are all exceptional. But Conan came from virtually nowhere to kick mucho butt. Guy wrote for the Simpsons for goodness sake. Giving him a show was one of the best decsions NBC ever made...
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