1st snap of the year...

[Mister Gee]

tamra,

(I almost choked on that "weave" joke!:lol:)

Your moms is [/i]always[/i] seen near England.... and Spain.... AND Brazil... And Russia And China!! In fact I heard that she completed "Hands across America" by her damn self...and still managed to give Hawaii a high-five (oh!)

Now that's a big ass girl!! (whew!), but we still love her

peace gee

[tamra]

Mister Gee,

that's alright. cracking on my moms charity work. see everytime she try to help yo big ass moms out this is the thanks she gets.

like that time yo mama fell off of Mt. Fuji while her dumb ass was trying to get a closeup of the 4 presidents faces and then caused a major earthquake in Japan. my moms had to kick start a telethon for that relief effort. Japan is still not speaking to her big ass because of that disaster. even Godzilla told yo moms to talk to the hand while yelling "It's Mt. Rushmore, beeeyotch!!" after that fiasco.

I'm still chuckling at that liverandonionsdesserts.com. I don't know where I pulled that one from. just started thinking of wild foods. will probably pass out if that type of site would exist. then again, yo moms will probably be the spokesperson for it!

[Mister Gee]

tamra,

Ok, I'm sorry, I know that your moms has always been very charitable in her actions. But the closest that she's ever got to "seeing 4 president's faces" is from the tips that she got working at the titty bar!

She rang up my moms last night to tell her that she made a quarter, a nickel, a dime and a penny. My moms said "Girl, that's not bad for 4 dances, but perhaps you shouldn't have charged that last motherfucka a penny!"

Peace gee ;p

[tamra]

Mister Gee,

wow, well check yo country ass moms out. she finally learned how to use a phone. *applause* I remember it wasn't too long ago when her dumb ass would open a phone book and press her finger down real hard on the number she wanted to reach and then yell "It's not working! It's not working! I'm letting my fingers do the walking, now let me start talking!"

and she finally realized that the phone ringing was not the kitchen timer? or was that another excuse to retreat to her favorite place: the refrigerator?!

and hey, at least my moms CAN strip. your mom was fired recently, memba? even the poles started a union when they saw your moms coming, talking about "oh hell nawwww, I QUIT!"

[Mister Gee]

tamra,

We all know that your moms doesn't really strip..... clothes just kinda steal away from her when she's not looking!

Even mink coats jump back on their hangers and say "I wouldn't be seen dead near that lady!"

And is it true that the cow-farmers in the US recently had a meeting to discuss how they were gonna be able to slaughter enough cows to make your moms a new pair of shoes? Ever since that pole dance accident her feet have swollen up so big that every time she stamps her foot she strikes oil!

Peace gee

[tamra]

Mister Gee,

sorry it took me a while to get back to you. I was having a meeting w/my moms about her options now. she don't have to work the pole no more since she's striking oil.

but just to show you how nice she is, my moms says she sending a few ducketts your way to pay for a No Fukkin Way Makeover for your mama. that way she may get some other options. too bad there ain't that many options for places to live for her. did the Wildlife Preservation Society ever respond to her living space request? bummer if they didn't.
;p

[Mister Gee]

tamra,

Sorry it took me a while to respond also, since your momma is now cashing on her newfound oil wealth, I figured that I better get on her good side... so I went out and bought some mountaineering gear, some hiking boots and 20ft of rope. Give me about 3 days and I would've scaled her North Face.

Oh yeah, the Wildlife Preservation Society got shut down after that embarrassing incident when your momma had a cook-out in one of their parks and gumboed Yogi and Boo-Boo!

Peace gee

[tamra]

Mister Gee,

yeah but THAT wasn't the MOST embarrasing part, the park just issued a general statement. because come on, nah?! don't make me put your family's business out there...

ok WHO showed up at the cookout? *cupping my ear* who??!! come on, nah... spill it!!

ok, fine then... since you wanna be all quiet... yo moms and 3 of her equally big ass girlfriends showed up and proceeded to eat up every damn thing in sight. even the trees, talking about "these are good after dinner treats". had birds talking about "wait, shit.... I live here, heffa!! racoons formed a gang and went buck wild on guests after yo moms RAIDED their stolen food.

bears were seen along the road hitching rides, talking about, "shit I ain't going back in that MOTHAFUKKA! I'll take my chances w/people"

sorry, I just had to tell ya. my moms has been nice enough to take the blame to keep the peace.
;p

[Mister Gee]

tamra,

We [/i]all[/i] know that the worst part of the cook-out was when your momma served up a grilled Rocky and then offered it to Bullwinkle! He started cryin' and she just said "Well fuck you big nose, that's all the more for me!" and waxed him in one gulp along with her Ninja turtle soup!

That's when the Hair Bear Bunch got on their invisible motorcycle and high-tailed it outta there! I can't even type what she did to Scooby Doo, but let's just say that Scrappy may finally get that solo spot that he's always wanted!

Your momma is so hairy even Captain Caveman said that she needed a shave!

Peace gee ;p

[tamra]

Mister Gee,

what is this obsession your family has w/my moms hair?

first your moms constantly hanging around my moms clipping off pieces to glue to her head. keep telling ALL the neighbors, "yeah chile, just a few more and I'll look just like Janet Jackson" (yeah, right! more like a Janet Jackson up the block on crack after rehab kicked her out right into middle of the hood).

but first yo mama stealing clippets of my moms hair, now you talking about it. yall need to get a grip, quick. and ain't like my moms would have enough hair to cover any part of yo mama anyway, so don't even know why she's frontin'

;p